Remember waaay back in January when I talked about The Quarter Life Crisis that all mid 20’s-mid 30’s folks go through? I touched a little on the subject of friendships.
When did making friends get so hard?! When you’re in school or a larger work place, surrounded by tons of people, it’s easy to have a variety of friends or even people that become friends just because you see them on a daily basis. Some of these people you probably don’t have too much in common with other than proximity. Suddenly you change jobs or are no longer in school and you find yourself losing contact once you realize that you have nothing in common with some people.
You also become a different person as you get older and have different life experiences. What if you work in a smaller setting or from home? It’s not that you CAN’T meet people, but where? And is it the right kind of people? Am I the only one who finds herself being pickier in wanting to choose a new friend? You want someone who clicks with you because life can get busy. Much like dating relationships, no one wants to waste their time, energy, and effort on someone who is just not the right fit. Thankfully in the days of the internet there are friendship finder apps and a quick glance at a persons Facebook profile can give you great insight of the type or the potential of an individual. A profile picture is worth a thousand words.
There are two major pieces of advice I can give you:
1. Keep in touch with friends that you already have who are important to you. Make the effort!
2. Be a part of something to meet new people. Join a club, sport, activity, or even become more involved in events going on in your community. It’s a GREAT way to meet NEW people who are interested in something you are, and who live close by.
I know that life is busy and between work, spouses, family, kids, life can get chaotic. But in those lonely moments of darkness, when you find yourself searching in the abyss, you’ll be glad to have a handful of friends you can blow of steam with. Everyone needs moments away from life, both alone and with friends.
I had made 1 friend since moving here and we were in different age ranges, and life paths so it’s hard to click on certain levels. So I did find myself a bit lonely (especially approaching my 30’s) and craving a little more with people in a similar mindset or stage of life….but the years starting going by and I found myself not doing anything about it.
Cut to 3 years later (AKA last year)!!! I joined a book club!
I went through the Meetup website which allows you to view and join different activities, clubs, etc. going on nearby. I found a book club of women in their mid 20’s-30’s who love to read AND drink beer. It’s literally a books and beer club guys!
I was very excited because the book they had chosen for the month I joined (September 2016) was a book I owned and had been trying to read. It was the perfect little push I needed to commit. And here I am, 7 months and books later!
With a consistent group that meets monthly, at least. We have our own Facebook page and sometimes we just meet up for drinks, trivia, or brunch. We post about events coming up in town that we’d like to partake in. I’ve met and hung out with some people individually and they’ve become friends! It even opened up the opportunity for Kevin and I to join a co-ed softball team (season starts later this month).
Here’s most of the books we’ve read so far ( I skipped one):
Devil In the White City, Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, The Witches
American Gods, Purity, Hidden Figures
We are currently reading Hillbilly Elegy as well as listening to the S Town podcast!
This is our first podcast that we’ve chosen to listen to and discuss as a group so I’m excited about it!
Putting myself out there and pushing myself to join something was a big step for me that I kept avoiding, but I’m glad I did it. I can look back and say I made an effort, which I was not doing before….it’s an awesome experience and I am meeting and gaining friends.
No regrets 😀