Fever; to baby or not to baby

That is the question.

Baby Fever is a real thing. And boy do I have it bad. making the decision to become a mom is a big deal and deciding to become parents together is even tougher. It’s not an easy thing that me and my husband, Kevin, take lightly.

Last year in the middle of planning our fall wedding, it suddenly hit me. Like someone just flipped a switch. I’ve always thought babies were cute, don’t get me wrong. I know there’s people out there who are repulsed by the idea and that’s fine too. But I was always the “yea, maybe some day” type person. Not thinking my only goal or mission in life was to be a wife and mom, but definitely not outraged at the thought of having a child. Yet suddenly I found myself overwhelmed with emotion at the sight of babies and toddlers. My heart felt like it could explode with happiness and wonderment. It was more than “Aw their cute” and more “I want this in my life now“. So many thoughts and scenarios filled me up every waking moment.

Now as we were planning our wedding and all, the timing wasn’t correct. But here we are 5 month later; still on my mind. As a 26 year old, I feel that there as so many things out there telling us not to have children. How we can have a fulfilling life without kids, and how kids will drag your life down and how we don’t need to be parents to figure ourselves out and be happy. Now I’m not saying you do and I’m not saying you don’t. What I am saying is find out what works for you as an individual and what works for you as a couple. Because it’s important to figure out these things together. Now a slightly tricky part, why do I want to become a mom? I feel that children give you a different perspective on life, everything is new for them as YOU guide them, the experience of raising a child, they give you a sense of purpose that’s beyond you and wonderfully selfless, they make you laugh and fill you with love as you fill them with love. Because that’s one thing that you can choose to keep giving, love. Maybe my reasons sound corny to you because the opposing side may have more “solid” reasons to not have children, but that’s the beauty of choosing. Not because “that’s what people do when they get older, settle down, start a family”, but because it’s what both Kevin and I want. So please, people of our generation, don’t look at me like I grew another head when I say we want kids.

Buuuuuut…..yes there is a but. There are alot of things to consider because of our age. First and foremost, FINANCE. We are not rolling in the dough. And having a baby is expensive. Diapers, food, clothes, stroller, car seat, etc. I know that it shouldn’t be the biggest reason holding us back, but it is. That brings me to our second factor, LOCATION. It’s true. We live about an hour and fifteen from both our families. Which means they wouldn’t be close enough to help out with the baby. Which means one of us would have to be a stay-at-home parent, FINANCE or we’d have to pay for childcare, FINANCE or we’d have to move closer to our families and hopefully find jobs with similar pay, FINANCE and LOCATION.

And now you see the pickle. Babies on the brain. The things that are holding us back. But that’s the journey of life, and I’m looking forward to when we get there. Together.

Love,

B

Plant Life: a miniscule step into bring greenery into our lives

Our apartment has been missing a little nature this winter. Okay, all winters since we’ve moved in….almost 3 years ago. So thanks to my neighbors Chris and An and also my friends Chris and Kate, they have inspired me to bring plants into our home.

Now, I have never been able to keep anything alive. I tend to forget about them….but dammit if they don’t brighten up the place so I will really try this time. So I looked up plants that are impossible to kill, but…..there were not to many options in this season at our local Home Depot for plants. I ended up buying some succulents (they’re all the rage) and some plants just labeled as Foliage with a “Bright Light” plant tag in them, really hoping they work out. The husband knows I kill everything so we’ll see how these survive before I invest in some more!

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An In-Between

Starting this blog. One of the many steps in figuring out my life. To learn, to share, to experiment, to let it all hang out (so to speak). At the beginning of 2016, I promised myself I would be more “adulty”. Why? I’m not 100% sure. Maybe I’m tried of dressing like a 12 year old boy. Maybe I don’t want my apartment to look like a dorm. Maybe I want to look like some one who knows what the hell they’re doing in their life! But mostly because I got married last year and I want some direction for my life. I need to take action in making it go where I thought I’d already be at in this point.

So, I decided to start a blog. Naturally. I don’t know anyone who has one, and I have no idea what I am doing. So bear with me as I try new things, grow, try to find out who I am and what I want from this wonderful thing called life. Your mid-late 20’s are weird. Half your friend are out partying and drinking every weekend and the other half is getting married and having children. Suddenly your drifting. Asking yourself where you fit in.  Can’t connect with either sides. Also making it very hard to find and make new friends because are you even going in the same direction?!

So, I’m going to try. Get my shit together, meet some people, and hopefully not fall apart in the process.